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we x e g e s i s |
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(noun) An explanation or critical interpretation.
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wTuesday, May 21, 2002 |
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If I don't do this right now I might never do it. So here's what happened in, I guess, mid-April that I've been meaning to post, but always got caught up in other things which distracted me from actually blogging about it.
In the space of about two weeks, I...
- was offered a position at two recording studios
- found out that I had to find another place to live by the end of June
- found another place to live by the end of the week
- started to confirm the details of my trip to Europe
- started to confirm the details of my graduation
Not that I'm one who usually sits around twiddling my thumbs, but you have to admit that this was more than a handful for one person to deal with!
By far, the first item in the list was what excited me the most and it had me grinning ear to ear for several days. =) Every part of me ached to be in a studio and I've been aching for what feels like forever. Some people tell me about how frustrating it is to not know what they want to do career-wise. Well, how about knowing what you want to do, loving it so much already, but not being given the chance to do it? I've lost so much sleep being tormented by that feeling gnawing away at me. But the day has finally come when God said, "Okay, here you go." And boy, do I intend to go.
posted by
Angie at 3:06 PM
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wThursday, May 16, 2002 |
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First of all, happy birthday, J. Second, YEAH BOY I graduated from NYU today!!
Although I'm usually not one for big ceremonies, I enjoyed myself at Commencement today. The sun was beating down mercilessly as we sat there in our academic attire, but other than that, I have nothing to complain about. I really got a kick out of how we musicians made fun of the Stern kids as they were walking past us. As we were taunting them for just "being part of the establishment" I'm sure they were laughing at us for the puny wages we would be earning while starting out in our fields.
One of the things that I love about my personal experiences with the university is how they take care of business, like the respected authorities that they are, without any superfluous frills. Sure the President of the university had to facilitate the ceremony, but he didn't do it with a stick up his rear end. Perhaps the fact that this day also marked the end of his term in office played a part in his easygoing manner. The way he handled the situation helped make us all feel like we were part of one big, happy family gathered together for Christmas. If I wasn't going on to grad school at the same university, I probably would have cried at the thought of leaving the place.
Looking back at the past four years, I know that I would not have been sitting in Washington Square Park wearing an utterly silly outfit if it wasn't for certain people. To those people (and I sure do hope you know who you are), I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for helping me look like a dork today. Most of all, thank you, Lord.
posted by
Angie at 11:50 PM
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wWednesday, May 01, 2002 |
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Ugh, I got that sick feeling in my stomach today again. You know, the one that plagued me most of last semester. Some people call it the feeling of inadequacy, but I think there's more to it. I kind of got caught slacking today and I think that might be the root of the problem. Sure, I first felt insecure, like I just wasn't as bright as the other kids and that I could have tried even harder in some classes. Then I realized that the main reason why I was feeling down was because someone finally put it in my face that I could (and very well should) be doing more but I couldn't undo the damage now that the semester was pretty much over.
I felt so bad that I almost thought about ditching grad school since I wanted to be free of these negative (read: guilty) feelings forever. But that's not the way to deal with problems, right? After all, I'm sure that there are plenty of chances to get lazy in any work environment too. Besides, I already got all excited about the stuff I'll be learning in grad school so it's still in my calendar!
Sloth--it gets us all at some point, but giving up would be the same, if not worse, as giving in to it.
posted by
Angie at 7:45 PM
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